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I’m lost

I really really and really miss you, no words could express it.

Hope you know my thoughts, my feelings, and my worries.

Hope you know that I want it to be the last fight. COULD IT BE???


again (?)

have you ever felt this BAD situation?? I felt hurt so many times, and yeahh I know that I also hurt people so many times… but, I hurt other people because of my past life, I wanted to revenge, but my way to revenge was totally wrong… NOW, I’ve already changed. I’m not like that anymore.

it’s really hurt to be hurt by the people that you really love

I didn’t mean to force him to do anything that I want… hm, maybe glance, looked like I’m forcing… but actually, I did it because I have some clear reasons. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, TOO BIG TO BE EXPLAINED BY WORDS, so I wanted him to pay attention to my advices. I didn’t want him to be sick, I didn’t want he receiving bad scores, I didn’t want him to be sin sin and sin, I WANT HIM to become a MATURE PERSON.

“Don’t care about anyone else said about you now, but care about what anyone else would said about you in the future. Care about what you need to prepare your future life. Just care about being a better person, a good person, a smart person, a meaningful person, and try to serve the best for God„

God has given the time for you… so, use it as well as you can, use it well as you still can change your attitude, use it well… Use the time to do something good, something that God loves, something that God wants you to do…

BE the LIGHT !!!

I’ve told to broke up with him if the condition’s like this. Because I’ve too often fought with him. But, I’m too afraid to broke up. I don’t have strength to face it. I’m too in love with him, it just too big…

I love him so much, so I care about his life, so that I care about what he did, I care about his school life, his family life, I care everything about him, even the smallest things about him… if I didn’t love him, why I must care about anything that came from him??? if I didn’t love him, why I must care about his life??? why I must regret or mad??? that’s all because I love him so much…


hey all !

I’ve watched KILLERS yesterday ! It was a great film . It’s interesting and cool. I love it!

Ashton Kutcher was sooooooooooooo handsome , cute , and sooooooooo cool in the movie ! yeahhh what a very great brain refreshing! haha. I love it! I love ashton kutcher very much!

spencer and jen

spencer aimes

I really want to watch it again and again !!! 😀

hi all . I’ve just come back from Manado (July 12). I wanna share my activities there. 😀 hope you’ll enjoy it guys!

first day : July 9, 2010 – Friday

from Soekarno-Hatta airport Jakarta (06.30 am, delayed) went to Juanda airport Surabaya for transit, then continued the flight to Sam Ratulangi airport Manado. I went there only with my dad

arrived there on 12.45 pm (central Indonesian time).  ako Yuli came to picked me and my dad. hm, I don’t know how to say it in English, but my grandma told me that I must call her “ako” 🙂 . we went to a restaurant named Wahaha restaurant at Pierre Tendean Boulevard. I’ve eaten some Manado’s foods there. Stir-fry water spinach, skipjack tuna’s egg woku belanga, dabu-dabu, bobara fish rica-rica, and young coconut ice with brown sugar 😀

after ate the yummy foods, we went to find a boat for Sunday. Cause on Sunday we were going to go to Bunaken. It took a long time to make a negotiation with the boat’s owner. Many owners there, and they’ve their own rate. So, we have to find the cheapest one. After found the boat, ako Yuli took me and my dad to Manado Quality Hotel. (at 5 pm)

The hotel’s services were so good. They’re very polite and friendly to the guests. First time we arrived there, I waited my dad took the suitcases from the car. When I was waiting there, the bellboy took 3 glasses of orange juice, then he gave me one. And after my dad and ako Yuli came in, he gave one for dad and one for ako Yuli. Then we’re going to the receptionist desk. She also gave us a wet small towel to clean-up our face.

I took a bath in my room’s bathroom. Ako Yuli and my dad were waiting in the room. I finished in 15 minutes, then we went to see sunset at the Boulevard. It’s great. The sunset was pretty perfect. There’s no cloud that covered the sun. I love the sky’s color, so beautiful.

Then we went to saw “Monumen Tuhan Yesus Memberkati” in Citraland real-estate. I couldn’t take some picts of myself there ‘cause I didn’t bring the camera, if I took picts with my phone, my face would be so dark in the picts. So, I just took picts of the monument.

We’re going down to the city. It’s night, and it’s time to eat some meals 😀 we ate pork rib soup at soto ba’ ko’ petrus. So yummyyyyyyy 😀 you must try it guys. It’s located near Manado Quality Hotel. Just a few meters from there, enter a small street, and you’ll find it. Oh, I almost forget it. Before we went to eat, we’re going to “Kelenteng Ban Hing Kiong”. It is kinda temple, place for Confucian people to pray. And I prayed there.

Manado Town Square (ManToS)… I went there. Just for window shopping. Haha. There some clothes stores, XXI (cinema), and so many foods… hm, I thought, it’s good. 😀

Second day : July 10, 2010 – Saturday

This day, I went to Tondano Lake and Bukit Kasih…

Ako Yuli with her niece (Miridya) came to pick me and my dad in the morning. We’re leaving Manado and going to Tomohon, then Tondano. We stopped at a restaurant. Ako Yuli bought some pork satays. Then we continued the trip.

Finally, we arrived at Tondano Lake. It was raining. I saw so many water hyacinth on the lake. And so many people seemed having picnic. Some people were fishing. I took some picture there.

goldfish woku, grilled carp, stir-fry water spinach, pork satay, leaf wrapped rice (sort of rice cake or “lontong” in Indonesia), and a cup of hot chocolate milk . I’ve eaten that at “Danau Tondano Restaurant” 🙂 when we finished our lunch session, we were going to Bukit Kasih .

at Bukit Kasih (it’s so cold here), my dad and I must walked through a very long stairs to reach the big cross (ako Yuli and Miridya waited us at the car park). at first the stairs made of cement and still good, but at the middle it’s broken. and at the end, we must walked through a non-cemented steps (fresh soil) and stones, people made it by digging the land, so it looks like ladder, and it was very slippery. the surrounding area was full of sulphur gas. and there’s a small sulphur craters (like a pond) and it’s warm, so people can put their legs into it.

okay, I’ll tell you about my journey here. hohoho. 😀  at the bottom of the hill, I thought that the hill was very short, and I thought I could reach the top so fast . but when I walked through it, I felt I can’t breath normally. so I took some minutes for break, then continued. I yielded the palm to my dad . yeah, he still strong enough to walked to the top of the hill. in the middle of my way, I almost gave up and almost decided to turn back down. but I thought I was a loser if I stopped there, so I continued. I felt dizzy and couldn’t breath normally, felt like I’m going to puke. but thanks God, I didn’t puke. when I reached the slippery steps from the fresh soil, I almost slipped in some times . OMG . and when I reached out the big cross, I thanked God for making me arrived there. and I took a picture there.

the darkening sky reminded us to go down. we took a different way for going down. here we go! we met again with the slippery ladder. here I were really really afraid to walk. once I slipped, my ass would kiss the ground and would love the pain. 😀 so be careful when you walk through it. finally, we met the flat ground. it’s a footpath with trees and grasses on our left and right side.

yeah, finally.. there’s a small area after we finished the footpath. first, you’ll see a small chatolic chapel from the back side. then you’ll also see a St Mary statue, it’s located on the back side of the chapel (outside the chapel). in front of the chapel, there’s the last place for “Via Dolorosa”.

I continued my way, then I saw a small vihara (for Buddhist). then walked again, and there’s a temple for Hindus. then I saw a Christian chapel, and finally a small mosque (musholla).

my dad and I continued going down. and actually it must be a “via dolorosa”, but I didn’t walk that way to reach the top .

when I arrived on the lower area, I took some picture with an owl and a small eagle. I also touch them and I thought they like it. 🙂

We’re going down to Tomohon city, ako Yuli recommended me to try a cup of home made coffee and bakpao (steamed bun stuffed with meat or other ingredients/dumpling). We were stopping at “Kedai Kopi Gembira”. the coffee taste was great. 😀 and actually, I’m a coffee lovers 😀

Third day : July 11, 2010 – Sunday

went to Bunaken 😀 I went there with my dad (of course), ako Yuli, ako Vonny and 2 cute little kids, Miridya and Ryan (her older bro), ako Yuli’s mom, and 2 servants.

we saw a very beautiful 3 points of Bunaken National Marine Park .  I really really and really enjoyed it 😀 and I wish to going back there someday… 🙂 after we saw the beautiful corals, we went to the island…

ate fish again! yeah! hahaha 😀 sooooooo delicious, and never forget “dabu-dabu” 🙂 before ate the grilled fish, I ordered a young coconut. my dad and ako Yuli also ordered it. while I waited the young coconut, I called my aunt in Surabaya. I told her that I was in Bunaken and going to eat, and soon ended up the phone ’cause my coconut was waiting for me 😀 ouch! the coconut meat was sooooooo hard to be cut. need an extra energy to cut the meat. it’s different with my dad’s and ako Yuli’s. maybe mine wasn’t a young coconut but an old one. but never mind, I still could enjoy it 😀

finished eating some delicious foods.. me, dad , ako Yuli, ako Vonny, Miridya, and Ryan went to the boat. we would having some funs in the sea . we’re going to snorkeling. and it was soooooooooooooo fun ! the coral was so pretty, and there were some clown fishes with their anemones. hm, I were still a lil’ bit afraid of the little fishes, afraid if they would bite me. hahaha. but actually not like that. the fishes was so friendly. hm, but be careful of the jellyfishes, ’cause they’re invisible, they’re transparant. I were touched by the jellyfishes. and I must grudgingly let my hand and leg being itchy 😦 but…… after 5 minutes, it’s already ok.

hm… the sky has been darkening… the boat’s owner told us to going back to the island, then we could take a shower there and going home. hm, I haven’t satisfied, but what could I do. I must went back to Manado. Arrived at Manado, ako Vonny took me and dad back to the hotel. then at 7 we’re going to city extra.

at city extra, I ate woku, rica-rica, and dabu-dabu againnnnnnn . these time, I ate grouper fish, bobara fish, and stir-fry water spinach 🙂 so full… hm… city extra located on Malalayang beach… it’s a romantic place outside, and a cozy place inside. the ocean’s wind was a fresh breeze… and I love it so much 🙂 I love ocean, it could bring me peace… 😀

the last day : July 12, 2010 – Monday

Hey… so sad and so hard to say goodbye to Manado 😦 I’ve enjoyed Manado… I’ve enjoyed the ocean… but I must left Manado. at the morning, ako Yuli picked me and dad to buy some t-shirt. I’ve bought some for myself and my dad bought for his friends and himself. after that, I went to ako Yuli’s home. we got lunch there together. after that, I went to the airport… and BYE MANADO, I’M GONNA VISIT YOU AGAIN SOMEDAY… 😀 love Manado!

NB : When I come back to Manado again, I wanna see Tarsius in Bitung 🙂

share some sad moments

hey all

I just have some problems in some days… yeah, now it’s already solved…

you know, I have a boyfriend. he’s so lovely 😀

there are two girls who made me got angry… they gave too much attention to my boy, I think…

it’s on my friend sweet17 birthday. my boyfriend and I were on the way to the party. and I opened my boyfriend’s inbox. he knew it. and I often did that in front of him. I saw many messages from the girl. let’s call her X. I opened the messages one by one. and all of it just made me upset. X looks like a slut. X knew that my boy was in a relationship with me, but she still gave too much attention. and I thought that it was just too overacted. from her talking style, I knew X is coquettish…

after saw all of the messages from X and my boy’s answers, I sent a messages to her (by my boy’s phone),

it said like this (actually in Indonesian) :  “please, don’t be like a rube person + don’t be overacted”,

X replied : “what?”

me : “it’s (my boy name)’s girlfriend”

X : “oh. why?”

me : “I don’t like”

X : “wee. ok. sorry”

–> just like that…

after that, my boy told me that X never disturb him again…

I’m not prohibit him for texting, chatting, or posting facebook wall with girls. I just want him not too responding their attention. I don’t want if he spoiled them (yeah of course, cause they’re not my boy’s family, and he’s my boyfriend). hm, I think, every girlfriend in this huge world, doesn’t want if the other girls giving too much attention for her boyfriend, or those other girls being coquettish and want to be spoiled by her boyfriend.

and here, I just want any other girls to not being coquettish to my boyfriend, and please respect me as his girlfriend…


the second problem

my boyfriend got a friend, and he regard her as his foster younger sister. i felt that i don’t like her since the first time i had known her. when my boy told her to pick acquaintance with me, she didn’t want it. and she never add me as her friend in facebook. i hate that!!! when she didn’t want to acquainted, i just thought that she might be shy…  but to add me as her facebook friend and she didn’t want it too??? please dear… she didn’t want to be friend with her foster bro’s girlfriend…

she also didn’t respect me as her foster bro’s girlfriend. her attitude, i didn’t like it at all.

I thought, if she regard my boy as her foster brother, she should respect me like a sister respect her bro’s closest person. and I also thought that every sister wanna making friend with her sibling’s closest person. but she didn’t.

you know, my boy and this girl making a conversation by facebook wallpost. and of course I could see their conversation. I know if she or he regarding each other as sibling. but it’s too far and it has made me think that she wanted her relationship with my boy “more than a foster bro/sis”. yeah, like she wanted my boy to broke up with me then in a relationship with her. hm, okay, maybe I’m overacted in this, but that’s what I’ve felt.

I’ve commented on one of the wallpost (from her to my boy). and she replied my comment. but the sentences are blazing with anger. isn’t it weird? it must be me who angry, but it’s her.

then I saw my boy’s facebook messages with her, she said to my boy that she didn’t wrong. and she said that I’m lucky in that time, cause she didn’t in the mood to be angry, if not, she would being rude to me. OH MY GOD!!! what the …????? so, why didn’t she do it, huh??? I would happily face her !

he asked his TRUE older sister, and his bestfriend about this problem… and by his information, he told me that both of them said that I’m true… I didn’t do the wrong thing… and I’ve asked some of my bestfriends, and they told me that if they were in my position, they would did the SAME thing (like what I’ve done)…

hm… that’s all… at the end, I just wanna tell you all this “if your closest person, or bestfriend has a gf/bf, please be respect to their relationship. and please don’t be overacted and give too much attention to one of them (from girl to boy, or boy to girl). cause if you do that, it would broke someone’s relationship. and for anyone who had a relationship with anyone else, please trust your partner, and talk to him/her gently to solve your problem. don’t break her/his trust to you”

hey hey hey

hey all of you there!! so proud to know you all .
I’m a new blogger here 🙂 I’d love to hear your critics, comments, and advices to make my blog better.

I wrote it on June 11, 2010 at 12:17 am (West Indonesia Time). Yesterday, on June 10, I’ve just received my progress report. And I thank God cause God had done His works on my first year in Senior High. I’ll go to next class, grade 2 science class. I’m so sad of leaving my previous class. The happy, sad, and struggle situations had been experienced by me in grade 1. I’ll miss that class! :’)

ok, that’s my introduction. hope u’ll enjoy my new blog! 😀

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